daniellemertina:

proudvaginaowner:

daniellemertina:

Nicki Minaj and other black women (I love love love Bria Myles!) who make money by presenting themselves in ways that are acceptable to a male and white dominated industry, hold a special place in my heart.

Because, since they’re black women they are often over-sexualized…

My Response

I completely disagree with the entry above. Although she makes some valid points, white women who degrade themselves are mocked and held accountable for their foolish ways as well such as the artist Ke$ha. 

Women as a whole have fought generations for our rights. We don’t have to look towards Michelle Obama as a prime example, there are plenty of other fascinating and powerful women within the entertainment industry.

You don’t have to be primped and proper, but you should not make a mockery of yourself because it exemplifies our gender as a whole. It also gives a certain demeaning value. Do you know how many people look up to females such as Kim Kardashian or Nicki Minaj, who are beautiful, yet do not portray the idea of being a powerful woman. Be talented. Make this world your’s. Instead, they succumb to the idea that it’s a man’s world and we are just living in it. It is a scary thought seeing how young some of their fans are, and how they imitate their style down to the science.

They overly use the idea of “sex sells” that is upheld by male standards. So yes, they are an embarrassment to our gender and a bad influence. Yes, they are doing something wrong, and we should ACKNOWLEDGE it.

We don’t all need to be the next Michelle Obama, but women such as Tyra Banks, Beyonce, Charlize Theron (who was born in South Africa), and much more exist to. They embody the personality that I would want my future to look up too. Their charity work, their independence, their work ethic, and not having to demean themselves to be such powerful women. That is what we should all aspire, not to just give in to the idea of using our bodies, using disgusting vocabulary, being outrageous in videos just to get attention.

My response to the response lol:

White women are not held accountable for using their sexuality (in objectifying capitalistic sense) in ways that black women are. Or WoC in general. Just turn on TV or read about how non-white women are fetishized in porn to see that.

But mainly, your usage of the term “mockery” and “demeaning” terms which I believe are subjective… you use absolutely. As if, you want to police women’s sexuality and how they choose to express it. As you know what counts as being a “powerful woman”.

I think that it’s good to have your own idea of what empowerment is for you and how you’re going to realize it. But once you create universal standards for all women, you are negating our individuality and our varying experiences and desires. And you are limiting other women’s autonomy.

I am also not sure that you can say living up to male standards in a way that make money is inherently bad. Realistically speaking, it can be the difference between financially taking care of yourself and not. That happens. But beyond that, it can be a personal choice.

Also you said, “but you should not make a mockery of yourself because it exemplifies our gender as a whole.” Why? Why does one women or a few exemplify the whole gender? We’re more than 50% of America. So who is gonna judge you based on one woman who you aren’t?

For black women it gets a little trickier since we’re often judged by other black women (the few of them) who are present in the media. But even then, if a person is going to compare me to a woman I’ve never met just because she’s a black woman then they’re racist and sexist and therefore, their opinion would be of no consequence to me. It’s so controlling to say ‘this woman is going to reflect on me’ so therefore I need to demean her.

I think women should be concerned with their own self-image instead of trying to control others.

Women can engage in self-harming behavior and we can address that (to be distinguished from personal choice), but once you get into devaluing people who embody those behaviors you tread in anti-feminist waters.

Michelle Obama was used figuratively. In my opinion, there is a strict definition for “good” black womanhood (which was alluded to in the original post) and it’s a dichotomy of good vs. bad. You can use Michelle Obama for the good side and Nicki Minaj on the bad side, for example. Black women are over-sexualized and ridiculed on attractiveness and appropriate femininity in general, which is why there is a lot of pressure to distance oneself from black women who more neatly fit the box of the stereotypical black woman. My original post was challenging this distancing that more often than not turns into devaluation and disregard.

Whose idea of a strong woman? Because all I keep hearing in these “critiques is demands that these women live up to someone else’s ideals instead of their own. If folks can’t see the problem there…