but the thing is, dudes like that? aren’t worth the shit on my shoes. i would just tell them that, too. because the reason why men like this say this shit outloud? is because people let them. when nothing about men who are like this is acceptable, or worthy of any kind of relationship, from friendship or whatever. i wouldn’t feed someone who had that kind of shit coming out of their mouth.
Wound up in a conversation at work with a “good” black dude who had plenty to say about American black women & how we don’t cater to our men. Mind you, we had this conversation while he was eating a piece of my poundcake (double chocolate & made from scratch thank you very much), and he was telling me about the Thanksgiving meal they had catered & that he cleaned up after because his wife and her mother (who moved in while she was pregnant & never left) were tired. From what? I don’t know. But she’s Puerto Rican with good hair & according to him she caters to his every need. As long as he calls home regularly, doesn’t have any female friends that he sees alone, & makes all the money. Yes, this conversation went astray for him early & stayed astray the entire time.
On the other hand I was fascinated by his logic. See, Black American women who work, go to school, & have other life responsibilities? They’re too independent. And they don’t take care of their men the way women from other countries do. No, it didn’t occur to him that I work, go to school, & still cooked the poundcake he was shoving in his mouth. Nor did he grasp that my mother didn’t move in with me & my husband. He was just convinced that ambitious black woman = no time for home and family. Of course a black American woman with no ambition need not apply. Certainly not one who would only want to stay home with the kids. Because that would be gold digging. It sincerely never occurred to this child that his standards for Black American women were completely different than his standards for anyone else.
I asked about this on Twitter, & the explanation I got boiled down to “He wants his momma in his wife”, but that perplexes me so I have more questions. Why would anyone fix their mouth to say this shit while they were eating food cooked by a black American woman? Why would you claim to be so much better off, when your spouse has you on the electronic equivalent of a choke chain? What makes it necessary for black American women to do everything and receive nothing, but women from any other group can do less & get more? No really, what exactly does it take in the minds of some of these fools to see black women as people? Also, why did this fool have the nerve to be salty when one of the white guys in our group went in on how much he enjoys dating Black American women? See, so many questions. Can anyone answer them?
In my head, he tripped, and, the fork he was using to shovel your cake into his mouth, got impaled in his throat as he landed face down on it and died.
That’s forever how this story ends, in my brain.
The logic of Black men against Black women is so fuckin ridiculous
You better not be tryin to go to work and school and be supporting yourself because you aren’t paying enough attention to home and him and children…
But your ass better not just be at home taking care of the kids because that means you’re nothing more than a welfare queen leeching off a ‘good man’
We cannot fucking win
WE CANNOT FUCKING WIN