Look at yourselves and how you’re acting right now. A WoC dares to point out that Rush Limbaugh has been saying racist and sexist shit to WoC for years and y’all lose your shit! You pull out every trick in the book in an attempt to derail the conversation. I’ve heard everything from “it’s not always about race” to “you cunts just hate white people”.
The way y’all are acting right now is why I stripped myself of the “feminist” title. I came into this shit real naive. I was under the impression that we were fighting for all women. You know trans*, cis, straight, gay, bi, asexual, pansexual, PoC, white people, all of us. I learned pretty motherfucking quickly I was wrong. It first started with the cis white feminists complaining about using trans* inclusive language. All you had to do, at the very fucking least, was say people instead of women. You moaned, you complained, and you cried. One of you even said “why can’t we have something for ourselves”.
The second strike came with the harassment and belittling of asexual and demisexual people. You laughed at, mocked, and harassed people for their sexual identity. You even had the nerve to tell them that their identity wasn’t a valid one. I don’t know about everyone else, but I think that’s some fucked up shit.
What really pisses me off beyond all reason is the constant dismissal and harassment of WoC. We aren’t allowed to discuss our experiences with sexism and racism without having some white feminist™ drop in with her two cents on the matter. We get told by you how we should think, act, and feel. Our experiences with racism don’t matter to you. Whenever we talk about the things we go through on a daily basis, we’re told we are overreacting, we’re “being too sensitive”, and that “it’s not always about race”. It’s either that or we get the educated white feminist™ who thinks they can jump in and tell us what really is and isn’t racist.
Intersectionality doesn’t exist with you people. You treat MoC as if they are the most sexist men on the face of the earth when it is white men who control society. White cis men make the most money in this country. White cis men control the media. White cis men control the government. You just want to ignore that though. It’s much easier to blame MoC for everything, isn’t it?
Until you people learn to understand and examine your privilege, I refuse to call myself a feminist. You’re always asking and wondering why PoC, trans* people, and others avoid y’all like the plague, here is your answer. As of right now, feminism only fights for the equality of white middle class cis women. You have a hell of a lot of work to do if you ever want to regain our trust.
[general trigger warning: child sexual abuse and rape]
Sometimes I am a survivor, and other times I am a victim. I’m here, and I am a victim of child sexual abuse and rape. Well, so what? Maybe that makes some people feel uncomfortable, that we are going around and (gasp) existing as people-who-survive and people-who-are-victims. But when I draw attention to my situation, I am claiming my right to exist in this world as a full and complex person, with all of the wants and needs therein. So labeling myself as a victim is not something horrible; it’s realistic. Yes, I was a victim of child sexual abuse and rape. And yes, it has all affected me in significant ways. That is a fact.
If I can’t acknowledge this, the fact that I have been and sometimes still am a victim, I create unrealistic standards for myself. I make myself believe that I must always be strong, that I must always be the Survivor with a capital S; always powerful, always laughing and never crying. I tell myself that I must always be tough and unflinching in the face of fear, in the face of a kind of death that reaches beyond the body and into the heart.
I know it is a faux pas to repost your own content, but i was rereading this and it really got to me. How did I even write that last line? It makes me tear up every time I read that paragraph because it feels so right and true to me. It’s just…so utterly unbelievable that something like that even came out of me.
Thank you, Audre Lorde, for giving me the inspiration to write like this.
Capt. Nicole Mitchell…flew back and forth and back and forth through Hurricane Irene a couple of weeks ago, in order to gather data as the storm was unfolding. Then I thought about it again in the lead-up to the 9/11 anniversary, when I learned of then-Lt. (now Maj.) Heather “Lucky” Penney, one of the two F-16 pilots who had taken to the sky that morning in order to bring down Flight 93 — by ramming their own planes into it. Which is to say: Before the Flight 93 passengers sacrificed their lives so that the terrorists’ mission would fail, Lt. Penney and her commander were offering up their own. A third plane hit the Pentagon, and almost at once came word that a fourth plane could be on the way, maybe more. The jets would be armed within an hour, but somebody had to fly now, weapons or no weapons. “Lucky, you’re coming with me,” barked Col. Marc Sasseville. They were gearing up in the pre-flight life-support area when Sasseville, struggling into his flight suit, met her eye. “I’m going to go for the cockpit,” Sasseville said. She replied without hesitating. “I’ll take the tail.” So. The next time someone says “like a girl” to me, I think I might counter with “oh, you mean like an F-16 pilot willing to sacrifice her life in defense of her country?