witchsistah

7 Things To STOP Saying To Black Women About Beauty

gradientlair:

1) Stop calling our natural hair ugly.

2) Stop approaching our natural hair with a hierarchy than reinforces colourism.

3) Stop using placement in the natural hair community to bully Black women who may still have relaxed hair or weaves.

4) Stop saying “she’s pretty…for a dark-skinned woman.”

5) Stop saying “she’s pretty…for a big/fat woman.”

6) Stop implying that any biracial women who identify as Black or any light skinned Black women are the only ones that are attractive, and stop acting like any Black woman who deviates from this appearance should be “lucky” to have a man, regardless of how utterly lousy that man might be. Love is not something to be rationed out like a commodity only for those who are closest to appearing White.

7) Stop saying “you’re too pretty to be single.” Attraction to someone has NOTHING to do with THEIR choice to pursue a relationship or not. This is inherently patriarchal and in fact not even a logical thing to say.

Who should stop this? ANYONE who does it (that’s you White and people of colour), INCLUDING other Black men and Black women. Reject White supremacist, Eurocentric and patriarchal thoughts about beauty.

moniquill

Read This If Your Holiday Sucks and Your Family Stresses You Out

moniquill:

nailthatsticksup:

sarabenincasa:

Stop.

Take a moment.

Breathe.

This holiday, too, shall pass.

Love,

Sara

P.S. You are not your weight, your age, the amount of money you make, or the car you drive. You are not your job or your lack of a job. You are not your father’s idea of you, or your mother’s, or your grandmother’s, or your great-aunt’s. You are not the person you were in high school and you are not the person you will be at the end of your life. You are not your failed relationships, your addictions, your public and private pain. You are infinite and beautiful and it is impossible for any one person to see or appreciate your totality. Know that you have more potential for goodness and love in the cuticle of your pinky fingernail than your family bully, abuser, naysayer or shit-talker has in their entire person. You are different. You are special. You are not your abuser and you are not your abuse. You are not your scars. You have a soul. I don’t know if God is real, but I know you are real, and this world is better for it.

Happy Christmas.



Also, you are not your lack of relationship or lack of interest/current interest (depending on your sexuality) in a partner of the gender your heteronormative relatives would prefer. You are not your assigned pronouns and birth name. You are not the perceptions people have of you based on how you look.

Also, if you’ve accumulated enough personal agency that you’re able to live apart from the people who hurt you and stress you out, you are not obligated to go and be among them ‘because it’s the holidays’ or for any other reason. You do not owe these people your presence or your attention. It’s ok to walk away.

blackfashion

Chris Brown Breaks Up With Karrueche

blackfashion:

In a video titled ‘The Real Chris Brown‘ Chris explains why he called it quits with long time girlfriend Karrueche Tran (inspired by Glee’s break-up episode)because of his friendship with the flawless, Robyn Rihanna Fenty.

“I’m stressed out, when you share history with somebody, then you tend to fall in love with somebody else, it’s kinda difficult,’ stated Brown.

I have decided to be single to focus on my career, I love Karrueche very much but I don’t want to see her hurt over my friendship with Rihanna.”

Now that that’s over and done with some fans are hoping praying Chris and Rihanna will “rekindle their burning sexual flame for each other.” Then on the other hand you have the Chris Brown extreme haters who are already calling Rihanna a delusional home-wrecker if she ever goes back with Mr. Brown or Rihanna is dumb and ill tell you why (long tedious rant).

I know, you’re like “why the hell is she writing about this Lord Voldemort, he who must-not-be-named ass dude after what he did to Rihanna” Well because I like the guy. I can’t say that I’ve bought any of his album post the incident, but hey he did the crime, he paid the time, she forgave him and I’m just completely over everyone lecturing me on why I should hate him. And besides that Rihanna is best friend in my head and every moment I can find to talk about her I will.

Anyhow, What’s your take on ‘The real Chris Brown’? and Are you YAY or NAY Rihanna & Chris getting back together?

Obviously Rihanna is going to do what she wants to do, but remorse doesn’t make Chris any safer for her to be around alone now than she was a few years ago. I hope he does have his shit together, but I doubt it.

deluxvivens-deactivated20130417

deluxvivens:

first-peace:

I do not like images or quotes by native peoples that say how the whites killed natives or took lands away. Yes, it happened. Yes, it was tragic. But now is the time for us to set aside our hate and accusations, despite what may have happened. The reason we are so scattered and separated from our own culture is because we’ve allowed these events to infect our minds and defeat our love. We must find it in ourselves to forgive the whites of their transgressions and find peace within ourselves. That is the only way for us to mend the sacred hoop and become a proud, powerful nation once more.

No more anger, my friends.

Which nation specifically is this addressed to?

*stares*

moniquill

The Patriarchy Even Denies Women The Right To Fully Love A Man

thepeacockangel:

You know what pisses me off, even though women are supposed to be these passive creatures utterly devoted to their men, the patriarchy denies us the right to even fully and properly LOVE a man.  It denies us even enough agency to be allowed to care for and about a man the way men are women.

  • We’re supposed to wait to be protected by our knight in shining armor, we’re never allowed to stand up and fight alongside our partner.  Like if there’s a noise downstairs, and you actually CARE about someone, you don’t let them go down there alone to check it out, you grab a heavy object and you go downstairs with them, because two people are more capable of overpowering a wild animal or intruder than one.
  • We’re not supposed to care how men look, so we can’t think our boyfriend/husband/partner is the most fucking beautiful thing on earth, and we’re shallow if that was ANY part of the reason we chose to be with him.  Because we live in a heteronormative patriarchal society men aren’t ever supposed to be “attractive” or “sexy”
  • We’re supposed to passively receive expensive gifts and not give the same in return (semi-understandable with the wage gap, but still)
  • We’re supposed to let our men protect us, sacrifice themselves for us, and are somehow castrating harpies if we lift a finger to stand up for them in return.  It’s supposedly emasculating to be a man who has a woman who loves you enough to fight for you, and that’s REALLY fucked up, because if you really truly and completely love someone, you WILL stand up to help them when they need you.
  • We’re apparently “emasculating” our partners if we try to earn more money to help support them, or buy them nice things because we care about them.
  • We’re so fully objectified that we’re objects capable of receiving love and lust, but never giving them in return.

Instead we’re supposed to sacrifice our identities, our dreams in exchange for a white knight who will protect us from the scary world, and honestly, that’s not fucking romantic, that’s… if it were actually necessary the most purely mercenary thing I can think of doing.  We’re told women don’t like “nice guys” if we don’t date a white knight (and punished) because womanly love is actually supposed to be coldly pragmatic according to society, and we’re breaking the script if we don’t choose an option society sees as “The best host for our benevolent parasitism”  All we’re allowed to do (and therefore what we are ALWAYS supposed to do) is stroke wounded feelings and look pretty.

And fuck that, i don’t want to be forced to be a parasite, I don’t want to be the fragile pixie who’s character is defined be her romantic entanglement, I actually want to be allowed to be a person who loves another person, and is that actually too much to ask?

deliciouskaek

To start off, I love everyone equally.

deliciouskaek:

therhapsodyincidents:

taylorsuxx:

I have tons of African American friends and I wouldn’t change them for the world. I never once have been a person to look at someones color and judge.

Having said that, I truthfully don’t understand why we single out a particular month to celebrate their history. It should be celebrated daily. Just as any other race or culture. Face it, in our history, many different races have been mistreated. Why not have a Hebrew history month? They were enslaved for thousands of years also. I’m in no way putting African Americans down. They should be glorified as anyone else should. Without people like Martin Luther King JR and Rosa Parks we would in no way be where we are today. In the same sense Abraham Lincoln and his famous Gettysburg speech helped to bring about the abolishment of slavery. If I sat here and explained how each and every race inspired the nation and impacted history it would take up many months and not just a solitary one.

If we had a white history month, I’d make this same argument.

God created us to be equal, let us be equal.

OK, you know with a title like that it’s about to be some bullshit. 

First and foremost everyone needs to understand that,

BLACK PEOPLE ARE NOT THE ONLY PEOPLE WITH DEDICATED HISTORY MONTHS!

There is National Hispanic Heritage Month

There is Irish American Heritage Month 

There is Italian American History Month (although it’s centered around Columbus so I don’t know if you really want it)

There is Jewish American Heritage Month.

THERE ARE MONTHS, AS IN PLURAL DEDICATED TO WHITE PEOPLE! Not even including the rest of the year!

So why is it, when we finally get some recognition, during the shortest month of the year of course, somehow we’re being put on a pedestal?

We’re being unduly praised

Why does everyone come for us?!

Black History Month is bullshit anyway! NO ONE ACTUALLY LEARNS ANYTHING!

All you get is a bunch of bullshit pandering McDonald’s Commercials and 30 sec info spots on BET and shit.

Black History Month is just a method to shut Black people up for a month, and we can’t even have that?

That is some straight bullshit.

But we’re all people! We all bleed red!

:|