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Esoterica

jezebel.com
(TW: Rape)
The case Rivard was discussing was that of 17-year-old Chetek high schooler Dennis Veldman, who in November of last year was charged with raping a 14-year-old girl in his school band room. The girl says Veldman told her he wanted to have sex with her, and that she said no. He proceded to take her pants off, told her to lie still, and raped her. The girl told prosecutors that she was too scared to do anything, and that it hurt. In a deal, Veldman pled guilty to three counts of fourth degree sexual assault, for which he served 90 days in jail. Veldman returned to jail in September, when he punched a 13-year-old boy in the face, breaking his nose. Rivard’s “some girls rape easy” comment came about a month after a child was raped in a band room. Since the comments, Paul Ryan, Governor Scott Walker, Senator Ron Johnson, and several other Republicans have backpedaled the fuck away from endorsing Rivard. But the Pioneer Press reports that local Wisconsin Republicans are continuing to hold rallies for Rivard, and that Wisconsin Right to Life and Pro-Life Wisconsin are still holding fast and strong to their beloved easy rapin’ candidate. Northwestern Wisconsin, I love you, but you’re bringing me down.

Politician Who Said ‘Some Girls Rape Easy’ Was Discussing the Actual Rape of a 14-Year-Old Girl

This is why we look at you like a bunch of toothless yokels, Northern Wisconsin.

(via bulletinaweave)

Oh My God, that poor little girl, to be commented on by a grown-ass man after already being raped? Jesus Christ.

I don’t want to have children at this point simply because they don’t deserve to be brought into this shitty fucking world.

Love,

Rabble

(via rabbleprochoice)

(via alltruthwaitsinallthings-deacti)

kane

parise:

President Obama responds to rape statement (below) from Senate candidate Richard Mourdock:

“I struggled with it myself for a long time but I came to realize, life is a gift from god and even if life begins in the horrible situation of rape it is something god intended to happen.”

(via alltruthwaitsinallthings-deacti)

stfueverything

‘Slut-Shamed’ Staten Island Teen Tweets ‘I Give Up’ Before Jumping In Front of Subway Trai

stfuhypocrisy:

[TW SLUT SHAMING, BULLYING, MISOGYNY]

A 15-year-old Tottenville High School studentwho committed suicide yesterday afternoonat the Huguenot Staten Island Railway station was apparently the victim of ceaseless verbal abuse from classmates that followed her right up to the moment she jumped in front of a subway train.

Friends of Felicia Garcia said she was on receiving end of regular invective barrages, particularly from football players who harassed her over a past relationship with one of the school’s athletes.

“This poor girl was called a slut. She was teased on Facebook,” a senior named Victoria told theNew York Post.

Garcia, a foster child whose parents allegedly passed away, would often complain about her progressively worsening situation on Twitter and Instagram. On Monday, two days before she took her own life, Garcia posted one final tweet: “I can’t, I’m done, I give up.”

Some students who were on the train platform with Garcia yesterday said the football players were still taunting her right up to the end, hurling “sexually explicit jeers.”

When the train arrived, Garcia reportedly said “Finally it’s here,” before leaping backwards onto the tracks.

“I hope the football team feels guilty for what they did to her,” said Garcia’s friend, 15-year-old Stephanie Imparato. “They were torturing her. How can you go through life being verbally assaulted like that? These guys are cruel and malicious.”

The NYPD is said to be investigating claims that bullying played a central role in Garcia’s suicide.

The same train station was the site of another teen suicide just over two years ago.

(via alltruthwaitsinallthings-deacti)

jezebel.com
scandarella:

albinwonderland:


“”Excuse me,” she asked. “Can I buy you a coffee?”
       It was a nice surprise. Most people don’t buy me cups of coffee, and I was just sitting at the Starbucks trying to plot my novel. So it was kind of charming, to have a cute girl offer to buy me a free drink. I told her sure. She brought me a nice iced chai, and sat down next to me, and then asked, “So have you heard about Jesus?”
       Now, as it turns out, I’m a Christian, so I’m not opposed to Jesus -– but it was a little disappointing to realize this drink wasn’t done out of niceness, but as a sort of recruiting tool. Maybe I’d have been into a religious discussion if she’d said, “Hey, let’s have a philosophical talk,” but as it was, I felt a little betrayed. So I said that I wasn’t interested, as politely as I could (for I was sipping a delicious drink), and returned to my plotting.The next day, another girl: “Hey, can I buy you a coffee?”
       This time, I was trying to work out a difficult programming solution in my mind, and she asked me at exactly the right moment to have all of my thoughts collapse like a house of cards. “Are you just going to ask me about Jesus?”
       ”Oh, no,” she said, reassuring me. “It’s just that I think you’re cute.” And she was kind of pretty.“…all right,” I said, guardedly. She bought the coffee. Sat down at my table.
       ”But if you were wondering about Jesus…” she said earnestly, and I ejected her from my table. I kept the drink, though. It seemed cruel, but she had been stupid enough to buy it for me even though I didn’t want it.
       Over the next week, it just got worse. Two or three times a day I’d be deep in thought, trying to focus on this tangled plotting that I needed to resolve, and some woman would tap me on the shoulder to offer me a cup of coffee. I couldn’t concentrate, because sometimes they were very insistent: “You sure you don’t want a coffee, sweetie?” they’d ask, sometimes lurking over me after I’d refused them, just in case I changed my mind. Sometimes they just bought the coffee for me anyway, without even asking me if I wanted it, plopping themselves across the table from me and yammering on about being saved.
       It was affecting my concentration. I started to tense up at the Starbucks, waiting for the next Jesus freak’s interruption. If it was a regular thing, like an hourly interruption, then maybe I could have worked around it, but it was erratic. Some days, I’d have four or five at once, other days I’d be blissedly free of interruption. But I had to be continually braced for the next hand on my shoulder, knowing that no matter what I was doing they’d be bursting into my personal space. I wrote less, my programs were buggier.
       My friends couldn’t understand my upset. “Dude,” they told me. “You never have to pay for coffee again in your life! You’ve got it made! Do you know how much money you’re saving?”
       ”But I don’t want to talk to these people,” I said.
       ”You’ve talked about God with us before,” they replied. “Sometimes, we’ll stay up until two, three in the morning discussing the nature of heaven and hell. You dig philosophy, Ferrett. If you like talking about that shit with us, then why not with them?”
       ”Because they’re just one-note and don’t really care what I have to say,” I said.
       ”Just try ‘em, man. Some of them are cute. Maybe some of them actually want to date you!”
       ”I guess,” I said. “But how do I know which ones are genuine without having to talk to a bunch of phonies?”
       Eventually, it got to the point where I started bringing friends with me for cover, so I wouldn’t get interrupted. That didn’t work, either –- while it helped, the more aggressive proselytizers would interrupt me in mid-sentence to ask me if I wanted a drink. Suddenly, the Starbucks wasn’t fun anymore -– it wasn’t a place to hang out, but a place where I’d just constantly be bugged by attention I didn’t want. And the guys who weren’t getting free drinks were calling me stuck-up, jealous that I was getting all these free drinks and not even wanting them.
       So I stopped going.
       Okay. Clearly, that didn’t happen. But I’m trying to prove a point here.
       One of the things that guys don’t get is why women don’t like to be hit on. As a guy, when you get hit on, even if it’s a clumsy attempt, it’s generally a very rare and remarkable event –- it puts a spring in your step, even if you’re not particularly attracted to the woman, because as an average-looking guy, scarcity of compliments is the norm. So if a girl catcalls you and goes, “Nice butt!” and appears to be serious, there’s often this sort of strange pride. Hey, that doesn’t happen often, she must really be into me.
       So a lot of guys have this unspoken attitude of, “I wish I’d be harassed.” And they don’t get why women are so angry when hey, I was just trying to be nice, why you gotta be so mean?
       Thing is, when it’s not scarce, then even the nicest act starts to get annoying. Because you don’t get to control when people are quote-unquote “nice” to you, and it happens all the time, and you know there’s always a hidden cost behind it. You start to question people’s niceness, because they’re not doing it to be kind, they’re doing it because they want something from you. And maybe, yes, that’s something you like to give to certain people, but definitely not to everyone, and almost certainly not to the kind of guy who’s certain you’re going to give it to him if he just bugs you enough.
       Harassment isn’t once. Harassment comes from a lifetime of dealing with people constantly doing things to you, whether you wanted them or not, at random intervals. You learn not to trust people. And what might have been pleasant, once, as an isolated incident, starts to feel pretty oppressive when it’s something you deal with on a weekly basis. It changes you, and then guys call you bitchy when you don’t feel like playing along and pretending this is just about the coffee.
       But I think most of ‘em would feel the same were the tables turned. So please. Think about what you’re spouting.”

Article by Ferret Steinmetz, posted on Jezebel.



Omg, this is the motherfucker behind the Open Source Boob Project. Which Jezebel covered when it happened. I didn’t read their article…just saw it on google.
The irony of THIS motherfucker writing this article. 
This feels like a Hugo Schwyzer kind of bait and switch to me. An abuser, a violator of women’s space, a “nice guy” who didn’t see how fucking CREATING that environment was NOT okay, who wrote about it gleefully as fuck on the internet is now on a (not really but OSTENSIBLY, quasi) feminist website preaching to…who, exactly? Women? Who already know this shit? Without examining his own behavior in this article, or disclosing that information? 
I don’t need THIS motherfucker telling me that “nice guys” can hurt women. If he wants to tell MEN, then get to it. But women don’t fucking NEED you, although I have no doubt the ladies at Jezebel are fawning all over him right now.

scandarella:

albinwonderland:

“”Excuse me,” she asked. “Can I buy you a coffee?”

       It was a nice surprise. Most people don’t buy me cups of coffee, and I was just sitting at the Starbucks trying to plot my novel. So it was kind of charming, to have a cute girl offer to buy me a free drink. I told her sure. She brought me a nice iced chai, and sat down next to me, and then asked, “So have you heard about Jesus?”

       Now, as it turns out, I’m a Christian, so I’m not opposed to Jesus -– but it was a little disappointing to realize this drink wasn’t done out of niceness, but as a sort of recruiting tool. Maybe I’d have been into a religious discussion if she’d said, “Hey, let’s have a philosophical talk,” but as it was, I felt a little betrayed. So I said that I wasn’t interested, as politely as I could (for I was sipping a delicious drink), and returned to my plotting.
The next day, another girl: “Hey, can I buy you a coffee?”

       This time, I was trying to work out a difficult programming solution in my mind, and she asked me at exactly the right moment to have all of my thoughts collapse like a house of cards. “Are you just going to ask me about Jesus?”

       ”Oh, no,” she said, reassuring me. “It’s just that I think you’re cute.” And she was kind of pretty.
“…all right,” I said, guardedly. She bought the coffee. Sat down at my table.

       ”But if you were wondering about Jesus…” she said earnestly, and I ejected her from my table. I kept the drink, though. It seemed cruel, but she had been stupid enough to buy it for me even though I didn’t want it.

       Over the next week, it just got worse. Two or three times a day I’d be deep in thought, trying to focus on this tangled plotting that I needed to resolve, and some woman would tap me on the shoulder to offer me a cup of coffee. I couldn’t concentrate, because sometimes they were very insistent: “You sure you don’t want a coffee, sweetie?” they’d ask, sometimes lurking over me after I’d refused them, just in case I changed my mind. Sometimes they just bought the coffee for me anyway, without even asking me if I wanted it, plopping themselves across the table from me and yammering on about being saved.

       It was affecting my concentration. I started to tense up at the Starbucks, waiting for the next Jesus freak’s interruption. If it was a regular thing, like an hourly interruption, then maybe I could have worked around it, but it was erratic. Some days, I’d have four or five at once, other days I’d be blissedly free of interruption. But I had to be continually braced for the next hand on my shoulder, knowing that no matter what I was doing they’d be bursting into my personal space. I wrote less, my programs were buggier.

       My friends couldn’t understand my upset. “Dude,” they told me. “You never have to pay for coffee again in your life! You’ve got it made! Do you know how much money you’re saving?”

       ”But I don’t want to talk to these people,” I said.

       ”You’ve talked about God with us before,” they replied. “Sometimes, we’ll stay up until two, three in the morning discussing the nature of heaven and hell. You dig philosophy, Ferrett. If you like talking about that shit with us, then why not with them?”

       ”Because they’re just one-note and don’t really care what I have to say,” I said.

       ”Just try ‘em, man. Some of them are cute. Maybe some of them actually want to date you!”

       ”I guess,” I said. “But how do I know which ones are genuine without having to talk to a bunch of phonies?”

       Eventually, it got to the point where I started bringing friends with me for cover, so I wouldn’t get interrupted. That didn’t work, either –- while it helped, the more aggressive proselytizers would interrupt me in mid-sentence to ask me if I wanted a drink. Suddenly, the Starbucks wasn’t fun anymore -– it wasn’t a place to hang out, but a place where I’d just constantly be bugged by attention I didn’t want. And the guys who weren’t getting free drinks were calling me stuck-up, jealous that I was getting all these free drinks and not even wanting them.

       So I stopped going.


       Okay. Clearly, that didn’t happen. But I’m trying to prove a point here.

       One of the things that guys don’t get is why women don’t like to be hit on. As a guy, when you get hit on, even if it’s a clumsy attempt, it’s generally a very rare and remarkable event –- it puts a spring in your step, even if you’re not particularly attracted to the woman, because as an average-looking guy, scarcity of compliments is the norm. So if a girl catcalls you and goes, “Nice butt!” and appears to be serious, there’s often this sort of strange pride. Hey, that doesn’t happen often, she must really be into me.

       So a lot of guys have this unspoken attitude of, “I wish I’d be harassed.” And they don’t get why women are so angry when hey, I was just trying to be nice, why you gotta be so mean?

       Thing is, when it’s not scarce, then even the nicest act starts to get annoying. Because you don’t get to control when people are quote-unquote “nice” to you, and it happens all the time, and you know there’s always a hidden cost behind it. You start to question people’s niceness, because they’re not doing it to be kind, they’re doing it because they want something from you. And maybe, yes, that’s something you like to give to certain people, but definitely not to everyone, and almost certainly not to the kind of guy who’s certain you’re going to give it to him if he just bugs you enough.

       Harassment isn’t once. Harassment comes from a lifetime of dealing with people constantly doing things to you, whether you wanted them or not, at random intervals. You learn not to trust people. And what might have been pleasant, once, as an isolated incident, starts to feel pretty oppressive when it’s something you deal with on a weekly basis. It changes you, and then guys call you bitchy when you don’t feel like playing along and pretending this is just about the coffee.

       But I think most of ‘em would feel the same were the tables turned. So please. Think about what you’re spouting.”

Article by Ferret Steinmetzposted on Jezebel.

Omg, this is the motherfucker behind the Open Source Boob Project. Which Jezebel covered when it happened. I didn’t read their article…just saw it on google.

The irony of THIS motherfucker writing this article. 

This feels like a Hugo Schwyzer kind of bait and switch to me. An abuser, a violator of women’s space, a “nice guy” who didn’t see how fucking CREATING that environment was NOT okay, who wrote about it gleefully as fuck on the internet is now on a (not really but OSTENSIBLY, quasi) feminist website preaching to…who, exactly? Women? Who already know this shit? Without examining his own behavior in this article, or disclosing that information? 

I don’t need THIS motherfucker telling me that “nice guys” can hurt women. If he wants to tell MEN, then get to it. But women don’t fucking NEED you, although I have no doubt the ladies at Jezebel are fawning all over him right now.

There are only two types of men who are upset that they need permission before they can have sex: rapists and potential rapists.

name-em-shame-em (via thisgingersnapsback)

People full stop.

(via cauda-pavonis)

i will not ever stop reblogging this

(via methodistcoloringbook)

(via alltruthwaitsinallthings-deacti)

twentysomethingpuppy
twentysomethinghussy:

(Rebloggable by request.)

Oh wow. Ohhhhhhh wow.
What person does the same thing over and over and expects different results each time? An insane person. Or a douchebag. I suspect you are one of the two.
Here’s a short story for you: Today, I was walking from one class to another. On my way across campus, I walked by a guy who was kind of dancing to some music on his speakers. As I passed him, he turns to me, starts kind of walking with me, and says something along the lines of, “I really like your sunglasses. You’re beautiful.” I ignored him and kept walking and I could tell he was peeved. What you don’t understand is that not only was I not asking for comments on my appearance from a stranger (or anyone, really), in a rape culture — which we definitely live in — his comments came off as threatening. I was scared. I picked up my pace. I didn’t want to stop and say thank you and have him be even creepier. I didn’t owe him anything just because he commented on my appearance.
Here’s another view from an anonymous person who wrote me in a while ago. Here’s my response to another person who probably has the same views as you. Here’s a quote that sums up my thoughts quite well:

“There’s a poisonous double standard in our society which says that it’s reverse-sexist and wrong for women to feel threatened by creepy-awkward male behavior because our fear implies that we hold the negative, stereotypical view that All Men Are Predators, but that if we’re raped or sexually assaulted by any man with whom we’ve had prior social interaction – and particularly if he’s expressed some sexual or romantic interest in us during that time – it’s reasonable for observers to ask what precautions we took to prevent the assault from happening, or to suggest that we maybe led the guy on by not stating our feelings plainly. The result is a situation where women are punished if we reject, avoid or identify creepy men, and then told it’s our fault if we’re assaulted by someone we plainly ought to have rejected, avoided, identified.”

Here’s the article that comes from.
Point is, if people aren’t responding to your compliments well, it’s probably because you’re being fucking creepy. Even if by some chance you’re not, you’re likely still a douchebag purely for the fact that you’re only doing something “nice” because you expect something in return and get mad when things don’t go quite as expected without even bothering to think of the implications behind it.
One last thing, from my suggested reading material to you.

Acknowledge that you don’t get to define other people’s comfort level with you. Which is to say that you may be trying your hardest to be interesting and engaging and fun to be around — and still come off as a creeper to someone else. Yes, that sucks for you. But you know what? It sucks for them even harder, because you’re creeping them out and making them profoundly unhappy and uncomfortable. It may not seem fair that “creep” is their assessment of you, but: Surprise! It doesn’t matter, and if you try to argue with them (or anyone else) that you’re in fact not being a creep and the problem is with them not you, then you go from “creep” to “complete assbag.”

Boom.

twentysomethinghussy:

(Rebloggable by request.)

Oh wow. Ohhhhhhh wow.

What person does the same thing over and over and expects different results each time? An insane person. Or a douchebag. I suspect you are one of the two.

Here’s a short story for you: Today, I was walking from one class to another. On my way across campus, I walked by a guy who was kind of dancing to some music on his speakers. As I passed him, he turns to me, starts kind of walking with me, and says something along the lines of, “I really like your sunglasses. You’re beautiful.” I ignored him and kept walking and I could tell he was peeved. What you don’t understand is that not only was I not asking for comments on my appearance from a stranger (or anyone, really), in a rape culture — which we definitely live in — his comments came off as threatening. I was scared. I picked up my pace. I didn’t want to stop and say thank you and have him be even creepier. I didn’t owe him anything just because he commented on my appearance.

Here’s another view from an anonymous person who wrote me in a while ago. Here’s my response to another person who probably has the same views as you. Here’s a quote that sums up my thoughts quite well:

“There’s a poisonous double standard in our society which says that it’s reverse-sexist and wrong for women to feel threatened by creepy-awkward male behavior because our fear implies that we hold the negative, stereotypical view that All Men Are Predators, but that if we’re raped or sexually assaulted by any man with whom we’ve had prior social interaction – and particularly if he’s expressed some sexual or romantic interest in us during that time – it’s reasonable for observers to ask what precautions we took to prevent the assault from happening, or to suggest that we maybe led the guy on by not stating our feelings plainly. The result is a situation where women are punished if we reject, avoid or identify creepy men, and then told it’s our fault if we’re assaulted by someone we plainly ought to have rejected, avoided, identified.”

Here’s the article that comes from.

Point is, if people aren’t responding to your compliments well, it’s probably because you’re being fucking creepy. Even if by some chance you’re not, you’re likely still a douchebag purely for the fact that you’re only doing something “nice” because you expect something in return and get mad when things don’t go quite as expected without even bothering to think of the implications behind it.

One last thing, from my suggested reading material to you.

Acknowledge that you don’t get to define other people’s comfort level with you. Which is to say that you may be trying your hardest to be interesting and engaging and fun to be around — and still come off as a creeper to someone else. Yes, that sucks for you. But you know what? It sucks for them even harder, because you’re creeping them out and making them profoundly unhappy and uncomfortable. It may not seem fair that “creep” is their assessment of you, but: Surprise! It doesn’t matter, and if you try to argue with them (or anyone else) that you’re in fact not being a creep and the problem is with them not you, then you go from “creep” to “complete assbag.”

Boom.

(via blue-author)

Lawmaker Says "Some Girls Rape Easy"

I just, I need someone to explain to me how you grow up, run for office, & repeat this in public. Like I’m 2.

Freshman Rep. Roger Rivard (R-Rice Lake) in December discussed a case with the Chetek Alert newspaper in which a 17-year-old high school senior was charged with sexual assault for having sex with an underage girl in the school’s band room. The newspaper quoted him as saying his father warned him, “Some girls rape easy” - meaning after the fact they can change what they say about whether sex was consensual. On Wednesday, Rivard told the Journal Sentinel the article did not provide full context of his comments and that his father’s exact words had been slightly different from how they appeared in the Chetek Alert.

He told the Journal Sentinel that his father had advised him not to have premarital sex, and he took that seriously. “He also told me one thing, ‘If you do (have premarital sex), just remember, consensual sex can turn into rape in an awful hurry,’ ” Rivard said. “Because all of a sudden a young lady gets pregnant and the parents are madder than a wet hen and she’s not going to say, ‘Oh, yeah, I was part of the program.’ All that she has to say or the parents have to say is it was rape because she’s underage. And he just said, ‘Remember, Roger, if you go down that road, some girls,’ he said, ‘they rape so easy.’

"What the whole genesis of it was, it was advice to me, telling me, ‘If you’re going to go down that road, you may have consensual sex that night and then the next morning it may be rape.’ So the way he said it was, ‘Just remember, Roger, some girls, they rape so easy. It may be rape the next morning.’ "So it’s been kind of taken out of context."

Of course he back pedaled after the fact, but the context he claims is missing? It’s right there, and it is rooted in rape culture. People keep telling me the Republican Party isn’t just the province of wealthy clueless white men. I don’t believe it.

lightspeedsound

lightspeedsound:

I really fucking hate it when white people are like “well most white people aren’t racist.”  

like fuck you.

The reason you think most white people aren’t racist is because you’re NOT A FUCKING TARGET FOR WHITE PEOPLE’S RACISM.

I have heard the argument that “because I grew up in an area predominantly white, racism wasn’t an issue. Black people were just…normal. Really.” 

No, bitch. It’s because there wasn’t as much opportunity to be racist. 

And while we’re at it, the whole pro-men’s rights argument of “most men aren’t rapists/douchebags/creepers”?

Yeah, fuck you. 

Because most men are not motherfucking trying to get you in bed.

Why do you think you’re so fucking homophobic? Is it because you think most gay men would want you in bed?

Why is it that somehow, that’s logical, but it’s not logical for me to say “motherfucker, do not touch my body when I do not want to be touched. I will not smile at your smarmy, bed-getting compliments.”

Dude, the gay man was just SITTING NEXT TO YOU and you motherfucking freaked. out. 

basically, what I am trying to say:

Unless you are the target of a specific type of bigotry, there is no fucking way you can be an accurate judge re: the accuracy of said bigotry committed by a social demographic.

Because your sample size is just motherfucking small as fuck. 

(via eshusplayground)

sourcedumal

Remember ladies, if you don’t drop EVERYTHING you’re doing the moment a man comes up to you and talks to you for ANY REASON WHATSOEVER, you’re an uppity bitch who doesn’t know what you want. PERIOD

hamburgerjack:

sourcedumal:

You have no right to your own time and space the moment a man comes and talks to you.

You have no right to leisure time

You have no right to your own personal space.

All of you belong to men. T

THE END.

(via hamburgerjack-deactivated201404)

shannibal-cannibal

We’re still talking about this? TW: rape

face-down-asgard-up:

I got a lot of messages in my inbox about my MRA posts the other day. Several of them brought up the issue of men who are raped by women.

So, ok, let’s talk about rape, sexism, and whatnot.

We’ll start with a quiz:

Which one teaches that men are incapable of being raped?

  1. Institutionalized sexism backed up by society through generations of tradition, culture, and laws
  2. Feminism

Answer: Number 1.

See, it’s sexism that teaches that men are incapable of being raped because it’s sexism that teaches us that men always want sex and are ruled by their physical desires. One of the reasons that male rape victims have a hard time talking about what happened to them is because when they do, they are not taken seriously.

Look at cases where older women in positions of authority ( teachers, bosses, etc. ) take advantage of the men/boys they are supposed to be supervising ( students, employees, etc. ). When these stories come out I usually see comments from lots of dudes along the lines of, “Man, I wish my teacher back in jr. high had tried to fuck me!” “Why is this guy complaining? He hit the jackpot!” “This isn’t rape, this is awesome!”

Even other men are oblivious to the fact that they are being hurt by sexism. They are being taught that they can’t be raped because men are inherently sexual all the time and are always happy to receive sexual attention. Sexism teaches us that all men would be happy to have a woman force herself onto them. Sexism teaches us that men cannot be abused or be victims, because sexism teaches us that these things don’t happen to men.

Feminism does not teach this. Feminism teaches us that consent needs to be given often and enthusiastically by all parties involved. Feminism teaches that men are capable of not being ruled by their erections and sexual desires and therefore teaches not only that men are capable of not raping people, but also that they can be victims as well.

So for all of those people who want to discuss this issue? You need to understand and accept that the root of the problem is not feminism, “reverse sexism”, or misandry ( Which isn’t really thing because we do not live in a society where women have power privilege over men which leads to men being disenfranchised, devalued, viewed as lesser,and denied equal rights and opportunity.). I cannot take you seriously or have an honest discussion with you about this topic if you cannot first acknowledge that all rape is, at it’s very core, a problem caused by institutionalized sexism and misogyny.

This is why I hate the term “Men’s Rights Activism” being used when discussing this issue. Because it shifts the focus away from the real problem. If you really want to fight for male victims of rape and sexual abuse, then you need to be working with feminists, WOC, trans* individuals and not against them. You are not an MRA if you want to stop people from being raped. You are a Victim’s Rights Activist, because the issue of men being raped is not a separate issue from women and trans* individuals being raped. They are caused by the same thing: Sexism and misogyny.

(via notesonascandal)