Esoterica
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This work by Mikki Kendall is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
 
 
 

The one thing I’ve learned from nice guys of OK Cupid

thunderwishes:

karnythia:

thunderwishes:

We gotta stop lying to these guys.

I know, sometimes we do it because we don’t want the fight, or we’re kinda nervous and some of them scare the crap out of me..so I understand the gentle let down I truly do.

But these motherfuckers think they are -nice-. They think that they are somehow decent human beings and their entire problem is -us- we just aren’t you know looking for nice racist homophobic slut shaming ‘patriarchal’ men like them!

So ladies, when you have the chance, and you feel safe? don’t fucking varnish that shit no more. Be honest ‘You kind of make me uncomfortable, we have nothing in common and the fact that you’re homophobic turns me off’.

Maybe if they start hearing it enough they’ll start believing it..Because really I’m fucking tired of being accused of putting someone in the ‘no bone zone’ because I’m not interested in people who aren’t willing to be more than ‘less of an asshole than the other guys’

I’ve told some dudes flat out they weren’t a catch. I’ve never done internet dating, but offline? They tend to think that makes you a challenge & they try harder to get your attention. It’s funny in a horrifying way how quick some of them are to rewrite themselves to prove you wrong.

It can go both ways and thats why I was really clear about understanding the gentle let down. I do online dating and I’m real clear with a lot of these guys -and- I block and report when it gets to harassing levels and yeah it goes there an awful lot.

In real life? yeah I’ve had a few like that too (my last ex is one, still hounding my ass after I’ve told him I’ve moved on and am with someone new) but seriously I’m dog ass tired of being told it’s because they are -too nice- that I don’t want to reward their fake ass friendship with my pussy.

WELP!

 
 
moniquill: lavender-labia: “Good morning New York. I’m sorry to bother you. I’m not hungry. I do not want food or money, I just need a little support. I got dumped last week and I’m trying to give her space but I can’t do nothing. If you have any words of advice for me, a quote that resonates with you or a story about second chances, please raise your hand and I’ll come to you. I have sharpie markers and I’ll stay as long as it takes.” cuddlingisoptional: I normally do not reblog this kind of shit, but for any dude that has ever been dumped, still in love and desperately tried to win her heart back, no matter the circumstance…this is legit shit. And do not give me that bullshit “dude, if she dumped you she obviously doesnt want to be with you, just get over it, you pathetic asshole”…First of all, fuck you. Second of all, fuck you. Your comments are the epitome of rape culture and everything that is wrong with concept of friend-zoning. Fuck you. Like actually fuck you, you entitled piece of shit. Women owe you NOTHING. Women do know what they want, and if they dump you it IS because they don’t want to be with you. Stop perpetuating the sexist assumption that women don’t know their own mind. No means no, and any other interpretation is rape culture at work. You and your commentary can actually fuck off.  As for the OP: I’m speechless. “I’m trying to give her space, but I’m walking around with her face on a sandwich board and I’m convincing everyone that she’s the horrible person here and I’m so unfairly victimised.” Cool story, bro. Tell me more about how you’re irresistible and why everyone should want to be with you. This is the reddest of flags. Dear girl on billboard: Change the locks, change your number, and stay safe.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ee42KaQs1qzfq3xo1_1280.jpg

moniquill:

lavender-labia:

“Good morning New York. I’m sorry to bother you. I’m not hungry. I do not want food or money, I just need a little support. I got dumped last week and I’m trying to give her space but I can’t do nothing. If you have any words of advice for me, a quote that resonates with you or a story about second chances, please raise your hand and I’ll come to you. I have sharpie markers and I’ll stay as long as it takes.”

cuddlingisoptional:

I normally do not reblog this kind of shit, but for any dude that has ever been dumped, still in love and desperately tried to win her heart back, no matter the circumstance…this is legit shit. And do not give me that bullshit “dude, if she dumped you she obviously doesnt want to be with you, just get over it, you pathetic asshole”…First of all, fuck you. Second of all, fuck you.

Your comments are the epitome of rape culture and everything that is wrong with concept of friend-zoning. Fuck you. Like actually fuck you, you entitled piece of shit. Women owe you NOTHING. Women do know what they want, and if they dump you it IS because they don’t want to be with you. Stop perpetuating the sexist assumption that women don’t know their own mind. No means no, and any other interpretation is rape culture at work. You and your commentary can actually fuck off. 

As for the OP: I’m speechless. “I’m trying to give her space, but I’m walking around with her face on a sandwich board and I’m convincing everyone that she’s the horrible person here and I’m so unfairly victimised.” Cool story, bro. Tell me more about how you’re irresistible and why everyone should want to be with you.

This is the reddest of flags.

Dear girl on billboard: Change the locks, change your number, and stay safe.

(Source: mendmyheart)

 
 

A note on the “friend zone”

vagabondaesthetics:

It’s a voluntary position to be in. Either ask the person out or remove yourself from their life. Otherwise, stop whining because you’re volunteering to be in a position of bitterness and emotional torment.

 
 
Slut” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “yes”. “Friendzone” is how we vilify a woman for exercising her right to say “no”.

angels-and-angles

this is an amazing quote

(via livelaughawesome)

Not just women, i.e. nonbinary people etc., but yeah. Basically. (via avatarsnowy)

^^ true.

(via theoceanandthesky)
 
 
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