“Why WON’T you educate us and hold our hand? We ARE the ones in power, you know, but we are good people.”

cruelyouth:

I’ve seen this shit before and have been meaning to write about it.

Imagine an abusive relationship (can work with romantic relationships and/or with family) and this is said by the abuser:

“Why do you want to leave me?  I allowed you to live in my house, and I make all the money.  You’re dependent on me.  YOU need ME.  Nobody will ever love you like I do, and I have everything you need right here.  All you need to do is behave and say with me.  Why do you want to leave me?”

It’s the EXACT SAME shit abusers tell their victims so that the victims stay, and the abusers retain power and control.

EXACTLY.

And you’re not good people.

They might be subtle, but these are threats.  And you’re trying to make false promises of “equality” if ONLY PoC submit to you and behave the way you want us to. 

And you should be able to step on our foots all you want to, but we better not complain about it if we REALLY want equality, which YOU try to set the standards for.

But, you know, you are “trying to help” us.  Because you’re a “good person.”

White people who think this way and tell PoC who tell them to go away, “But don’t you want equality?  We are the ones in power and COULD give it to you if you would just act how we want you to act and say what we want to hear!”

It’s intimidating bullshit.  You are THREATENING PoC into submission, waving around your privilege and power and threatening to use it against us if we don’t submit.  You are crossing our physical, emotional, intellectual, and time boundaries all at the same time and saying “we must not want equality” if we try to enforce them while you invade them.

Nobody has to teach you shit, and nobody is obligated to hold your hand, change their tone, or take the time to accommodate their personal spaces for you. 

And who the hell would want to be “equal” to an abuser like you?

It’s impossible.  You actually don’t want equality.  All you want is control over others and will do and say anything to get people to submit to you.

PoC and marginalized people who get this from privilege people, RUN, don’t just walk, RUN away from them and blast them for the abusers that they are.  Please do NOT fall for this shit.

In the end, you cannot reason with abusers.  Just walk away, and don’t even bother wasting your time.

siemprevivalavida:

non-black PoC have to be very very careful when engaging with Black People, whether it be in dialogue or in general.

cause ya’ll, we have a history of taking part in the marginalization/oppression/murders of black people, just to uphold white supremacy. cause sometimes our every action includes stepping on Black People to feel just a lil better about ourselves, just a lil closer to whitey.

and i understand our cultures and countries have been drenched in anti-blackness and the legacy of colonization remains, but youre constantly being told that your actions and words are oppressive and anti-black, and u continue devaluing a Black Woman’s hurt or struggles cause some how you feel your opinion is more valid in a dialogue about anti-black racism on BLACK WOMEN, you are shit.

so im saying, think before u say, and if you end up saying…fucking listen yo. listen to someone who is way more experienced in such.

i.e. Black Women

Hello, dear studius white people who wish to “study” PoC online…

cruelyouth:

Do you know why people who conduct studies and experiments on other human beings ask for permission before doing so?  Do you know why participants are asked to sign consent forms?

Because depending on the study, it can be mentally dangerous to the participants if they do not know that they are being studied in a controlled environment.  It can be psychologically damaging to not know they are being studied or that you are trying to control their environment to do research. 

So why the FUCK do you think you have the right to “study” black people online, especially without being forthright about your intentions?  Why the FUCK do you think it’s a-okay to pull “soshal experiements” on us to just see how we react?

It is emotionally damaging to us, and you are treating us like lab rats.  I can’t fucking believe I have to write this sentence, but we’re human beings, not lab rats.

It is emotionally damaging for you to come into our online spaces, which we should have control over, and try to take control and try to “study” us.  Your very presence is a threat.

And when you try to butt in and play devil’s advocate in our conversations, just to see how we react — saying covertly, overtly, or unintentional racist bullshit that you’re too lazy to unlearn yourself, you are being a fucking horrible human being, and I hope to fucking god none of you are ever going to be psychologists who conduct real experiments.

Here’s your first fucking lesson in race relations and understanding your white privilege — YOU ARE BEING SO FUCKING OPPRESSIVE AND UNBELIEVABLY DEHUMANIZING POKING AND PROBING AND STUDYING US LIKE YOU’RE AT A ZOO.  YOU MIGHT AS WELL PUT ON YOUR KKK UNIFORM NOW — YOU’RE BEING A FUCKING TERRORIST.

But I guess it’s easier for you oppressive shitheads to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission — “But I just wanted to learn!”

You can’t learn shit from other people unless you see them as people first, and you have the capability of critical thinking and reflection yourself.  And if you’re incapable of seeing us as people, then maybe you should take the time to reflect on your own humanity and your own whiteness.  Then maybe PoC won’t mind if you follow them because we’ll know where you come from.  Hell, we might even fucking like you as a person if you would at least try to see our humanity and not oppress us.

And do you really fucking think that you’re so “objective” about race that you can objectively study PoC and actually understand race relations?  You’re not.  A part of unlearning your own racism is knowing that you’re not, and you were taught to oppress. YOU HAVE A RACE, TOO.  YOU NEED TO FUCKING OBSERVE AND STUDY YOURSELF AS WELL.

But you don’t want to fucking think about that, and instead, you harass PoC on their blogs, stalk them and what they write, and call it “research.”  It’s not only lazy-minded, but it’s disgusting and OPPRESSIVE.

Get the FUCK out.

karmic-retributi0n asked: Agreed though you could also argue that what right does that particular culture to have to determine how a particular piece of clothing associated with them is worn? They don’t own it, of course they originally wore it, but since then it’s been branded into many different forms, very much like say a kilt from a Scotsman being worn by an American. Personally I think liberty should be prioritised and the ability to wear anything non offensive (which as you say is a point of view) should be allowed

moosedeevita:

lettherebecramp:

The problem here is that Natives are offended by it. If a Scotsman was offended by an American wearing a kilt (I am going to swallow my distaste at the fact that we are comparing the situation of white people v. oppressed people to white people v. white people) and asked that American to stop, because it was disrespectful to Scottish culture, I would hope to all hell that they would. But when Native people ask white people to stop appropriating their sacred traditional dress, more often than not they get “It’s a free country” “I’m APPRECIATING your culture” “It’s not racist (because white people get to decide what’s racist now? :/)” “You’re overreacting” and my personal favorite, “You’re being racist against white people!” There is an ENORMOUS lack of respect in this field.

But! There is also a difference in context here. Cultural and racial oppression do not exist in a vacuum! As counterintuitive as it may seem, equality does not mean placing every issue on a level plain and pretending that you can compare Issue A to Issue B and Issue B to Issue W, etc. It’s about looking at the issues in context, understanding all of the nuances and historical backing and intersectionality of those issues, and working on correcting injustices within that context. One of the context issues you need to understand when considering cultural appropriation is that Native people have historically been - AND STILL ARE TODAY - severely oppressed and abused by white people! So when white people co-opt very, very deeply significant Native culture, treat it like a fashion statement, and refuse to respect Native protests, it is an enormous slap in the face on top of thousands of other daily grievances. 

You call allowing people to dress like this a “liberty,” but cultural appropriation is just another form of oppression. Asking that people refrain from disrespecting Native culture is not unreasonable, it is not censorship, and it is not infringing on anyone’s rights - it is asking for respect and understanding.

Some of the comments from the Jane Elliot clip are just down right appalling

thesavagesalad:

This was never meant to be a fun and enjoyable activity. It was never meant to be one of those “LOOK BEYOND OUR DIFFERENCES, WE’RE ALL THE SAME” kind of things. 

Why?

Because racism isn’t a fun thing. And unfortunately, we live in a society where we are not treated as equals. AND IT FEELS AWFUL. To the commenters who are up in arms about the treatment of the one white girl crying in that situation- did you even bother to think about the number of times POC have ever cried due to the racism they experience in their day-to-day being? Or the number of times we are permitted to cry? Or that our cries would be heard? Call me a terrible person, but I have no sympathy for the white girl who was crying in the activity because she dismissed the educational value of such a session and didn’t bring a pen or paper. A session which she would later be credited for and advance her educational experience.

If anything, she was being rewarded for enduring a short period of hardship. Where’s the credit I get for the hardship I endure?

Where was the credit for being denied the right to a proper education at the age of 6 because my accent caused me to pronounce all these English words incorrectly? 

Where was the credit for being rejected to play any roles as any leading character in a school play because my skin colour was “aesthetically displeasing for the role” (aka too brown)?

Do I get a credit for getting beaten up because someone thought that all brown/ “muslim looking people” are terrorists? 

How many credits do I get for being fetishised by white people who thought that Desi vaginas were a gate way to a fantastical exotic world, only to find out that they weren’t and would there for cause harm to you BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T LIVE UP TO YOUR RACIAL STEREOTYPE?

Even now in the work place, do I get a magic credit for being forced to Anglicise my name so “it doesn’t scare the clients”? Or to endure my manager telling me to dress more “professional” so “customers aren’t worried about people like me”?

So, do I get any credits here? 

You see, it’s gonna hurt a few white people when I say this- but you all have that privilege of stepping in and out of discussions and situations to do with racism. That girl crying away in that experiment has the luxury of stepping out in an hour or, she has the freedom of saying”I DON’T LIKE THIS I’M MAKING IT STOP”. That’s a fucking privilege. It’s something that I, and many other POC here will never ever have.

So for the next white person who complains about this clip, consider all this before you spill your privilege denial everywhere.

Living in America is Violent (for a Black Woman/Genderqueer)

strugglingtobeheard:

Black women are assaulted every day. Black genderqueer people are assaulted every day. Black trans* people are assaulted everyday. Often black men are too, though this is who I’m not speaking about right now. Literally and emotionally and psychologically and spiritually. I was reading this article by the Crunk Feminist Collective and thinking about the violence and emotional hurt we experience every day. To be honest, all the hell we go through, I’m surprised more of us are not also violent. Even though portrayed that way. It’s so hard to escape. The worded assaults, the look assaults, the condescending assaults. The fact that we can’t even always support each other because we are constantly getting fucking assaulted and trying to clean up damage within ourselves, nevermind other people. I was looking through the notes on the article about those sorority sisters getting suspended for wearing black face. I tell myself not to look at the comments. But I did (and how fucked up is it, that we have to cope by avoiding many things) look down, why the 2nd comment say the reason racism is alive in America is because black people won’t get over it. We aren’t slaves today. Okay, I would rather be punched in the face than read that bullshit. THAT was assault. It doesn’t matter if the person intended it to be so. It was.

Violence comes in many forms. People need to understand this. From the articles about how we are proven to be uglier, how we can’t find men, what we need to do to be better, how we are irrational and if we complain about it, we are irrational. From the standards of beauty we are expected to meet to the kinds of sex we are expected to have. The things people want us to do just to receive their love. The way people look at us. They way they talk to us. The way we are targeted for fucked up contraceptives still by planned parenthoods. The way single black mothers trying to educate themselves have their schools shut down without remorse. The way black women get SHOT at for saying fucking NO. We are constantly assaulted.

The idea of emotional justice within an activist circle is a great one. We do not put enough emphasis on emotions, on feelings. On how systems affect our psychology. But we need some emotional justice with each other and for ourselves. We need to lift each other up. We need to learn from each others pain. We have to help each other through our pains. We truly are the only ones who understand this shit. And the ones who deny it and minimize it, we need to realize this is often their way of psychologically coping. I don’t have any solutions to offer here, right now. But I want to have black women, black genderqueer, black trans*peoples backs. No one else has them. We deserve emotional justice and quite frankly, these white motherfuckers just ain’t gonna give it. We take it, we give it to each other, we cut out the abusive sources when we can.