Esoterica
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Why aren’t little brown girls praised as much as little white girls?

thegoddamazon:

karnythia:

anedumacationisnomore:

So I just watched that documentary on shadeism that I reblogged from espirit-follet, and my head hurts and my heart aches.

Watching that little girl look at her own beautiful skin and hearing her talk about how ugly it was… pointing at the white models and not the black ones, talking about her aunt’s lighter skin and how different it is to her own…

You know, I never once thought of myself as a pretty child. Pretty was my white friends, my black friends and me, we were just there. Not very feminine, not like the white girls. Not desirable, not particularly popular with the boys the way the white girls were. I remember the time my friend Julia told me that she thought I was the prettiest girl she knew, and it floored me. First time anyone had ever told me I was pretty. I was eleven.

image

I look back on pictures, and I think to myself, why? I was a gorgeous kid. I had these big lovely brown eyes, black hair, golden skin, I was smart as a button, and very, very funny. And I look at the pictures of my white friends, and I don’t see much of a difference, other than our races. So why did they receive praise, and why didn’t I? I vivdly remember one incident at a slumber party: my best friend, a blonde white girl, told me that she was naturally beautiful, that she knew this, and that some people weren’t as lucky as her. And I remember thinking, how does she know that? Where does someone obtain that kind of knowledge? How is she so confident and secure in that knowledge? Someone must have told her. And she believed it? Because by the time I was eleven, I was so used to thinking of myself as the dirty, runty little brown kid, I refused to believe someone when they did praise me. 

The other black and brown girls I knew as a child — many of them learned to think of themselves as beautiful later on in life. And yes, I know that this is a universal experience, every girl goes through some kind of ugly duckling stage or another, hopefully emerging in late adolescence with a sudden reserve self-confidence — but no white girl goes through that journey the way we went through it. Because we have to come to terms with our race, not just our awkward bodies. We have to combat what other people can and will say about what certain features of our bodies. Our hair texture, the shape of our eyes, our dark or light skin, the multitude of shades that are painted on our bodies, our hairiness or lack of hair, our size, our breasts, our hips, our lips, our butts. 

Its a battle white girls don’t have to go through. There are all sorts of pressures on every woman in our society, but we have many, many more. Childhood and adolescence and womanhood are battlefields for us, and it can be a struggle to continue to think of ourselves as desirable, as female, as pretty. 

No wonder so many of us don’t make it. 

I wrote a post a while about becoming pretty (and man some of the comments it got were real damned doozies) & I find myself wondering now how much of that backlash was about me as a WOC describing myself as attractive & not being apologetic about it. I still get all weird when other people compliment me (I’m working on being able to respond without getting all twitchy), but I refuse to let people tell me that my skin or hair = ugly because it’s not part of a white beauty aesthetic. I also keep thinking about how often our mental health isn’t considered in these discussions because really how many young girls of color are growing up with body dysmorphia disorders that are race specific & yet never discussed or treated?

I’ve written several posts on this regarding a journey of dark skin being considered beautiful.

I didn’t get any backlash, but then again…

Well I also talked about street harassment & that always sets people into some kind of tizzy since women saying they have a right to bodily autonomy is like a Bat Signal for fuckery.

 
 

Why aren’t little brown girls praised as much as little white girls?

anedumacationisnomore:

So I just watched that documentary on shadeism that I reblogged from espirit-follet, and my head hurts and my heart aches.

Watching that little girl look at her own beautiful skin and hearing her talk about how ugly it was… pointing at the white models and not the black ones, talking about her aunt’s lighter skin and how different it is to her own…

You know, I never once thought of myself as a pretty child. Pretty was my white friends, my black friends and me, we were just there. Not very feminine, not like the white girls. Not desirable, not particularly popular with the boys the way the white girls were. I remember the time my friend Julia told me that she thought I was the prettiest girl she knew, and it floored me. First time anyone had ever told me I was pretty. I was eleven.

image

I look back on pictures, and I think to myself, why? I was a gorgeous kid. I had these big lovely brown eyes, black hair, golden skin, I was smart as a button, and very, very funny. And I look at the pictures of my white friends, and I don’t see much of a difference, other than our races. So why did they receive praise, and why didn’t I? I vivdly remember one incident at a slumber party: my best friend, a blonde white girl, told me that she was naturally beautiful, that she knew this, and that some people weren’t as lucky as her. And I remember thinking, how does she know that? Where does someone obtain that kind of knowledge? How is she so confident and secure in that knowledge? Someone must have told her. And she believed it? Because by the time I was eleven, I was so used to thinking of myself as the dirty, runty little brown kid, I refused to believe someone when they did praise me. 

The other black and brown girls I knew as a child — many of them learned to think of themselves as beautiful later on in life. And yes, I know that this is a universal experience, every girl goes through some kind of ugly duckling stage or another, hopefully emerging in late adolescence with a sudden reserve self-confidence — but no white girl goes through that journey the way we went through it. Because we have to come to terms with our race, not just our awkward bodies. We have to combat what other people can and will say about what certain features of our bodies. Our hair texture, the shape of our eyes, our dark or light skin, the multitude of shades that are painted on our bodies, our hairiness or lack of hair, our size, our breasts, our hips, our lips, our butts. 

Its a battle white girls don’t have to go through. There are all sorts of pressures on every woman in our society, but we have many, many more. Childhood and adolescence and womanhood are battlefields for us, and it can be a struggle to continue to think of ourselves as desirable, as female, as pretty. 

No wonder so many of us don’t make it. 

I wrote a post a while about becoming pretty (and man some of the comments it got were real damned doozies) & I find myself wondering now how much of that backlash was about me as a WOC describing myself as attractive & not being apologetic about it. I still get all weird when other people compliment me (I’m working on being able to respond without getting all twitchy), but I refuse to let people tell me that my skin or hair = ugly because it’s not part of a white beauty aesthetic. I also keep thinking about how often our mental health isn’t considered in these discussions because really how many young girls of color are growing up with body dysmorphia disorders that are race specific & yet never discussed or treated?

 
 

witchsistah:

beautifulhikari:

I’m sorry I was born light skinned.
.
.
.
.
.
No, I’m not sorry I was born lighter than most. I will not apologize for something I had no control over. Im just so sick and tired of darker skinned PoC trying to make me feel bad for something I HAD NO CONTROL OVER. I didn’t ask to be born light skinned.

I’m also tired of darker skinned PoC trying to make ALL lighter skinned PoC the bad guys. I’m fucking tired of people assuming I think I’m better than you because my skin is lighter. I don’t think I’m better than anyone. Hell, I wish we could all be treated equally.

I’ll admit, lighter skinned PoC do have it way easier than most darker skinned PoC. I say most because not all dark skinned PoC have lived a hard life.

I don’t wish to be brown skinned or dark skinned because I love my skin color. However, I fucking love brown skin & dark skin. There’s just something sooooooo sexy about darker skin. Lol, I still have love for the light bright boys tho.

Another thing before I end this little rant… Can we please learn the difference between brown skin and dark skin -_- most of the who claim they’re dark are actually brown.

My black is beautiful and so is yours and his and hers :-* black is ALWAYS beautiful no matter the shade.

Chile, this sounds like it came from the Derailing for Dummies playbook.  If White folks said this shit to PoC to get us to quit complaining about racism, we’d be so far up their asses they may actually get rhythm and learn how to twerk!

Light-skin folk won’t hesitate to use the same tools against dark folk that they complain that Whites use against them.

 
 
sideofdork: coldeyesthatburn: diasound: Colorism “This is a graphic that depicts the issue of colorism. Black people try to divide themselves among who is lighter than the other or darker than the other. However, we are all black people. Are roots all travel back to Africa: Black is Black is Black.” in a real way. but can we no pretend that light skin privilege doesnt exist? this is the equivalent of ” we all bleed red!!!” in my opinion. and erases the experiences of  Darker skinned black people. saying ” we are all black” isnt going to stop the little black girl from feeling she would be prettier if she was lighter. Colorism is real outcheer. we might all be Black, but some of us get treated way fucking worse.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3oz5d99Kd1rvy9feo1_1280.jpg

sideofdork:

coldeyesthatburn:

diasound:

Colorism

“This is a graphic that depicts the issue of colorism. Black people try to divide themselves among who is lighter than the other or darker than the other. However, we are all black people. Are roots all travel back to Africa: Black is Black is Black.”

in a real way.

but can we no pretend that light skin privilege doesnt exist? this is the equivalent of ” we all bleed red!!!” in my opinion. and erases the experiences of  Darker skinned black people. saying ” we are all black” isnt going to stop the little black girl from feeling she would be prettier if she was lighter.

Colorism is real outcheer. we might all be Black, but some of us get treated way fucking worse.

 
 

genuineeee:

but the thing about colorism is that if you point out that a “preference” for lighter-skinned people isn’t just a preference but really a reinforcement of what we’ve all been taught, people will call it  bitterness.

and that says a lot too. 

meanwhile darker skinned people get fewer jobs than our lighter skinned counterparts. are more likely to be incarcerated, are less likely to have the same opportunities. so this “preference” isnt something you’ve thought up all on your own. it isn’t just the way you feel. there’s a whole institution supporting and implementing this “preference,” too.

but yes, i’m just bitter. that’s all it is.

nevermind all the facts. nevermind my life is adversely affected because im darker. nah. im just hatin.

 
 
blackridinhood: So, I know FYDG isn’t really a place to discuss racism and the tendency to turn black bodies into a fetish, so I liked this this morning so I could address it when I got home from work. Now, one thing I’ve seen happen, A LOT, whenever colorism and shadeism is discussed, is the tendency for white people to jump in and say “I don’t understand the hate. I LOVE DARK SKIN.” Kay, that’s all fine well cool and good, but when we’re discussing these issues, we need ya’ll white people to sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and hear how having darker skin makes things ten times harder than a light skinned black person. You interjecting with “oh, I love dark skin” doesn’t add shit to the conversation. And it’s a chance for you white people to try to interject in a “but I’M not like that” comment. Which we don’t care if you personally aren’t when whites (and really everyone) upholds lighter skinned people as the best of the race. Two, as I boxed in read, is the issue with describing black skin with food words, like “chocolate.” Mainly because this is never done with white people unless a PoC’s color is brought up and described as chocolate first (I’ve never heard white people referred to as “vanilla” unless it was to compare to a black person who is “chocolate”). The problem with that, you ask? Considering how hypersexualized black women are, and how black men’s penises have been the part of fetishes since slavery days, referring to our skin as “chocolate” is part of those tools to dehumanize us into “food” to be devoured by white mouths. Even weirder is how this white girl thinks she knows better than us black girls what our skin should be called. I call it “black” or “dark” or “dark brown.” There’s no reason for anyone to refer to my skin as anything other than that, especially if you are comparing it to a popular foodstuff eaten by millions. It’s not a compliment. Whenever I hear that, I automatically feel unsafe. I recognize that I was just dehumanized to a sexual toy to fuck, and not a human being. And in that person’s eyes, I’m not a girl to get to know, but a walking pussy waiting for some dick to get in there. And while I know this white girl meant nothing by it, I couldn’t help but feel anger at her telling a black girl running FYDG that “dark” isn’t the best way to describe our skin tone. I think we know best what our skin color should be described as. And chocolate is not one of them. Thanks but no thanks.

blackridinhood:

So, I know FYDG isn’t really a place to discuss racism and the tendency to turn black bodies into a fetish, so I liked this this morning so I could address it when I got home from work.

Now, one thing I’ve seen happen, A LOT, whenever colorism and shadeism is discussed, is the tendency for white people to jump in and say “I don’t understand the hate. I LOVE DARK SKIN.”

Kay, that’s all fine well cool and good, but when we’re discussing these issues, we need ya’ll white people to sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and hear how having darker skin makes things ten times harder than a light skinned black person. You interjecting with “oh, I love dark skin” doesn’t add shit to the conversation. And it’s a chance for you white people to try to interject in a “but I’M not like that” comment. Which we don’t care if you personally aren’t when whites (and really everyone) upholds lighter skinned people as the best of the race.

Two, as I boxed in read, is the issue with describing black skin with food words, like “chocolate.” Mainly because this is never done with white people unless a PoC’s color is brought up and described as chocolate first (I’ve never heard white people referred to as “vanilla” unless it was to compare to a black person who is “chocolate”).

The problem with that, you ask? Considering how hypersexualized black women are, and how black men’s penises have been the part of fetishes since slavery days, referring to our skin as “chocolate” is part of those tools to dehumanize us into “food” to be devoured by white mouths. Even weirder is how this white girl thinks she knows better than us black girls what our skin should be called. I call it “black” or “dark” or “dark brown.” There’s no reason for anyone to refer to my skin as anything other than that, especially if you are comparing it to a popular foodstuff eaten by millions.

It’s not a compliment. Whenever I hear that, I automatically feel unsafe. I recognize that I was just dehumanized to a sexual toy to fuck, and not a human being. And in that person’s eyes, I’m not a girl to get to know, but a walking pussy waiting for some dick to get in there. And while I know this white girl meant nothing by it, I couldn’t help but feel anger at her telling a black girl running FYDG that “dark” isn’t the best way to describe our skin tone.

I think we know best what our skin color should be described as. And chocolate is not one of them. Thanks but no thanks.

 
 

More childhood experiences with colorism.

anedumacation:

So I got a lovely email from Moury Minhaz in response to this post I wrote about what its like to not feel pretty as a little brown girl, and she said I could publish it here. 

Thank you for that post on shadism. It hit a bit too close to home, then a gain, it does for most of us brown girls, doesn’t it? Reading it made me anxious and my stomach was doing that thing where it feels like there is a black hole forming in it. I am in my mid twenties now and up until maybe three years ago I still felt undesirable, and frankly, I still feel that way sometimes. So much self pep talk went on before I felt like I am beautiful. …I still find myself giving myself the pep talk sometimes. 

A good chunk on my childhood was spent in Japan, where of course I was always the only dark individual in our grade or sometimes in the whole entires school. Though I loved growing up in Japan and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world… there were some terrible times too. Once I was told by my classmate not to touch her baby sister (she brought her baby sister to the play ground) because she didn’t want her sister to turn black like me. Now that I look back on it, I think, “ah well, kids can be cruel they don’t know what they are talking about,” but nevertheless me at that time felt like subhuman. 

White girls do have it easy. Their awkward phase doesn’t have an added layer of what is it like to grow up in a society where lightness is revered, and you know very well we are not just talking about the western society. Our own people judge us for being a shade or two darker. I cannot tell you how many times relatives/family friends have commented on my skin tone when I was back in motherland, visiting with my cousin who is a bit lighter shade. “You are beautiful but don’t stay out in the sun too long, you are already ‘shamla’. Be more like her, she has such a creamy complexion.”  You know that word that they use to describe not so light skinned girls, shamla (in bengali at least), it like a terrible branding on brown girls. Instantly taken down a notch and discredited. I cannot count how many times I have heard my aunties talk about potential bride for some dude in their family, “she is a doctor, getting her PhD. She cooks well, she is sweet, she sings… but she’s dark.” How frustrating.

Thanks for that, Moury. 

This shit runs deep. 

 
 
 
 

forbrowngirls:

georgieterry:

A documentary adressing the issue of ”shadeism” within communities comprised of people of color. Shadism refers to the cultural phenomenon where members of the same ethnicity, nationality, or religion discriminate against one another based on the varying shades of their skins. This documentary looks at shadeism within the South Asian, African-American, and Carribean community.

a must see!

(Source: friaplata)

 
 
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