“Society, however, does not see all fat as being equal. A man can be much, much fatter than a woman and still be viewed as comfortably within the standard deviation; most department stores carry men’s pants up to a size 42, which is the rough equivalent of a women’s size 24—a size that a woman would have to visit a specialty big-girl store or “Women’s” department to find. Men are comfortable on beaches with their beach-ball bellies hanging over their swimsuit waistbands, bronzing their fat in the sun, whereas my fat women friends struggle to find swimwear that does not feature a skirt.
So me, I’m transgendered. It means that the gender I present in the world is not congruent with the sex that I was assigned at birth; in practical terms, I mostly look like a man but have a body that some would consider physiologically female. Even though I don’t identify as a man (I am a butch, which is its own gender), I am taken for a man about two-thirds of the time. And when I am taken for a man, I am not fat.
As a man, I’m a big dude, but not outside the norm for such things. I am just barely fat enough to shop at what I call The Big Fat Tall Guy Store, and can sometimes find my size in your usual boy-upholstery emporia. Major clothing labels, like Levi Strauss, make nice things in my size, and I am never forced to wear anything that appears to have been manufactured at Mendel the Tentmaker’s House o’ Fashion. (Although those things do exist for men, too. Those terrycloth shirts with the waistbands? Oy.) I can order extra salad dressing or ice cream or anything else in a restaurant and have it arrive without comment; I can eat it in public without anyone taking a bit of notice, even if I am shoving it into my mouth while walking down a crowded street and getting crumbs all over my chest in the process. I can run for a bus or train without anyone making a snide remark.
As a big guy, I’m big enough to make miscreants or troublemakers decide to take their hostility elsewhere. As a woman, I am revolting. I am not only unattractively mannish but also grossly fat. The clothes I can fit into at the local big-girl stores tend to fit around the neck and then get bigger as they go downward, which results in a festive butch-in-a-bag look—all the rage nowhere, ever. No matter how clearly I order a Coke in a restaurant I must be on a diet, and so I get a Diet Coke—usually with a lemon floating in it accusatorily, looking up at me as if to say, “This is as good as it’s going to get, lardass.” Wait staff develop selective amnesia about my side of fries or my request for butter, and G-d help me if I get caught eating (or even shopping) in public as a woman.”
S. Bear Bergman, “Part-Time Fatso” (via wretchedoftheearth)
How are ya’ll really just gonna turn your heads from people dying en masse to talk about the fuckin Illuminati? Haiti still hasn’t recovered from it’s earthquake. Honestly, The US and France been angry with them since they got their independence. Pakistan still hasn’t recovered from that flood- disease outbreak multiplied 100fold because of pathogens traveling through water. They are trying to erase Latino stories from Arizona Universities. They are trying to erase that the founding fathers were slave owners out of Southern textbooks. THERE IS NO CURE FOR AIDS. Americans complaining how their jobs are being outsourced and how there are no more “American” doctors and these idiots don’t even chalk it up to not teaching evolution because that’s of the devil *eye roll*. How the fuck is your dumb ass son gonna be a doctor when he doesn’t know what a vestigial structure is?? answer me that!
Girls are being kidnapped and sold into sex slavery/mail-order brides. People are trapped in poverty. THERE IS A LEGIT PUBLIC SHOOL-TO-PRISON CYCLE in inner city American school systems. AND SOOOOO MUCH MORE. And you want to talk about lady gaga’s meat dress? You want to talk about Jay-Z’s hand motion? You want to convince me how everything listed should take a back seat because you heard Rihanna praises Satan?
Miss me all of the way. Please exit the earff. You look so incredibly dumb when you talk to me about this nonsense conspiracy. Pretty sure that was invented purely to distract you from actual events. Cuz ya’ll stopped giving a shit about Haiti right after that We are the World Remix. Ugghhh… America wtf are doing?? MISS MEE!!
If you’re white you’re racist.
It’s not the end of the world. Shhhhhhh….. Calm down.
But you me and all our white brothers and sisters is raaaaaaccccciiiissssstttttt.
We’re not all cross burning crackers telling n****r lovers that they’re going to hell. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that we all have issues based on our enculturation that makes us respond different to people based on their perceived race. Most often we respond more positively, with more trust and more compassion, to people with lighter complexions.
It’s not that we’re inherently bad people, just that the system we’re brought up in is inherently racist.
So the next time a person of color starts talking about white people and you feel like chiming in “we’re not all the same!!!!!!!! I’M A SUPER WHITE PERSON WITH NO RACISM WHATSOEVER” take a second to breath, gather yourself, and think about what kind of implicit associations you have with skin color and how your enculturation into a white supremacist society might have something to do with that.
And please… don’t bring up affirmative action as a way you’re discriminated against. It hurts my feelings and makes me sad.
so i’m not gonna read the threads on racial posts because many white folks are showin their asses. This is how it goes every time…..
POC: ah man how come there aren’t any minorities in this film/tv/book/any other form of media?
Whole bunch of white folks: OMG! why are you complaining? ugh they got the people they thought were best for the part! It’s not realistic to put minorities in EVERYTHING gaaawww! Just shut up and enjoy it.
POC: I don’t like the way they portrayed *insert ethnic group* in this film/tv/book/any other form of media
Whole bunch of white folks: OMG!!! shut up! you’re so sensitive nobody was thinking about it that way. I didn’t get offended by it so get over it. Yeah I know that all of the white people were portrayed positively and minorities were portrayed negatively, but WHO CARES it’s not real! People always want to make a big deal out of nothing and ruin it. Just because you’re represented in every form of media in a negative light or not represented at all is no big deal, they don’t show a lot of white people in black movies or on BET and I’m not offended. Why do they need Spanish channels either? Can we get an all white channel? Can we get white movies? I don’t complain about that. The fact that the media plays a major role in how people are viewed on a global scale means nothing. We’re all the same and you pointing that out makes it worse and makes me feel uncomfortable so just stop talking about it and get over it! BLAME SOCIETY! UGH!
“Everyone likes black stuff when it’s not on a black person. Ask Elvis. Ask Led Zepplin. Ask the “Justins” – Timberlake and Bieber. Our music, asses, lips, hair, dance moves are all crass vulgarities until some non-white person “cleans them up” and “makes them accessible” by doing the exact same thing – but being white while doing it. And these days, you can be white and completely sincere about your love of R&B or Hip Hop or having a fat ass and society will still gladly put you on that “Oh, but a white person did it this time” pedestal – whether you asked for it or not. And they’ll go there “oooing” and “aaahing” as if your mentors and predecessors meant nothing. As if your pop n’ lock routine came to them mature and fully-formed like Venus from the sea foam.”
Once, racism was men in hoods burning a cross on your lawn. It was separate entrances and separate water fountains and the back of the bus, and if people didn’t know their place it was okay to remind them who’s in charge. The great thing about those folks was: at least you knew where you stood. A man with a noose has clear intentions, about as easy to spot as a harvest moon on a clear autumn night. In a best case scenario, with a bit of discretion, you could avoid these people entirely. In a worst case scenario, you could at least defend yourself.
I had a really interesting discussion about identity, self hate, cultural capital etc with my BFF today and it got me thinking of Margaret Bowland’s selection of paintings of young black girls in white face. When asked to comment on ‘Kenyetta and Brianna’ Bowland that ‘It is a commentary on how women still have to jump through all these hoops to be desirable. These girls are still visible beneath all those layers of crap … they’re still looking back at you.’ I think that a lot of black girls looking at Bowland’s paintings would say that the metaphor transcends beyond the art world. For many black girls Bowland’s paintings are a life metaphor - reflecting a reality where black girls are often marginalised by European standards of beauty. I agree with Cherise Kramarae when she states that ‘For women of color who are viewers, trying to achieve idealised femininity entails not only adjusting or refining one’s body, but also rejecting one’s identity and certain characteristics altogether. To resist this artificial standard is to stand apart from beauty as defined by society’. The frustrating thing for me is that even if you put the fact that there is very little aesthetic diversity across all media platforms to the side, in the black community we impose European standards of beauty on each other with a vengeance. It’s black men that make fun of Alek Wek and it’s black girls arguing about natural hair v relaxer/weave war (e.g ‘These little nappy headed hoes need a terminator’ - Nicki Minaj) etc. It’s this infighting that is the real tragedy.
Somebody told a lie and we believed it.