Like, even from people that are fucking awesome about everything else.
It never seems to cross peoples minds to be inclusive towards trans women.
It never seems to cross peoples minds to acknowledge trans women.
It never seems to cross peoples minds that without inclusive and acknowledging statements, trans women need to assume that we aren’t wanted.
We NEED to do this because we are tired as fuck of assuming that we are being included.
We are tired of coming into women’s groups and being victimized and abused.
We are tired of going to rape crisis centers and being turned away because our existence is triggering.
We are tired of wanting a safe space and then being told WE are the rapists, the deceivers, the monsters, and the child molesters.
We are tired of being the punchline and the joke. The fetish object and “best of both worlds” so long as we’re gone by morning.
Never mind the fact that many of us are victims of rape.
That many of us have dealt with child abuse.
That many of us have been physically assaulted.
That all of us live and deal with the constant deceptive nature of cis people.
We NEED to assume we aren’t wanted. Because the whole wide world is telling us we’re trash and we can’t be arsed to assume that you actually meant to include us when you said fucking nothing.
We don’t have the fucking luxury to assume that we are being included.
Make it damn clear that you want us around.
Make it clear that you won’t put up with transmisogyny.
Make it clear that you view us as women. That you view us as fucking people.
I’d like to see some fucking solidarity, but I wonder if this will even be reblogged?
And if it is reblogged I wonder how many people that aren’t trans women will do so?
I’m honestly not betting much, so I guess we’ll see.
Simple concept that somehow eludes more people than it should — which is to say anyone: transgender women are women, transgender men are men.
There’s several in my life, some of whom are reading these very words. In case I haven’t made it clear enough in word and deed elsewhere, here it is again: I’m glad each of you is here.
People with a problem with any of that need to step off now before they make utter fools of themselves in a forum that never forgets.
“This is going to take some getting used to.”
“Give me a break; this is hard for me.”
“I’m really trying; it’s not easy.”
Yes, I’m sure it’s really fucking difficult for you to get used to calling me by a different name, using different pronouns than before, the fact that I’m growing tits etc.
How hard it must be to know someone who is transgendered. You poor thing; it must be so fucking hard for you to respect my identity and have someone in your life who doesn’t fit into your bullshit preconceptions about gender.
Do you want me to hold your hand? Well, I’m a little busy… you see, while you’ve been dealing with the strenuous task of interacting with a trans person (and, believe me, I get it; you constantly tell me how “difficult,” it is) I’ve been busy dealing with the idea that I am one of the most hated people on the planet by virtue of the fact that I refuse to submit to oppressive schemas of gender. I’ve been busy thinking about all those people I cut out of my life because they couldn’t stop being oppressive assholes. I’ve been busy watching my back because I am one of the biggest targets for unprovoked violence in the world (violence constantly perpetrated, or at the very least encouraged/protected, by the state). I’ve been busy coming to terms with the idea that even the queer community is transmisogynistic. I’ve been busy deciding which fucking bathroom to use to lower my chances of being raped, brutalized, or murdered every time I have to piss.
So, I can’t hold your hand, because both of mine are constantly busy defending myself from this disgusting hell of a world.
I constantly feel like this ^
How about such golden lines as: “Don’t expect (insert relative’s name here) to get your pronouns and name correct”
or, “you better not make a scene about your identity if someone calls you by your birth name or refers to you with male pronouns”
or, “I’m trying really hard, but you have to understand how hard it is to see you as a woman when you don’t even look like one”
or, “oh God, there you go correcting everyone again. You’re going to spend half of your life correcting people from here on out because of your choices”
or, “you’re so difficult, how do ever expect anyone to see you as a woman with that low voice of yours and your bushy eyebrows? Even your walk is all wrong, who are you trying to fool?”
All that and more, paired with the constant fear of violence in public and overhearing people talking about me; “ohmygod, did you see that? I think that was a man!” or sometimes it’s even as blunt as “whoaaaaahhhhhh”.
Pardon me, world, for being who I am and being happy. For once.
Reblogged for great additions.
Reblogging because damn it, folks need to RESPECT when people tell you what they preferred to be regarded by. Filing under “How NOT to be a complete asshat when speaking about gender identity and presentation.”
I am not a woman trapped in a man’s body. This body is no man’s; it is mine, it is me, and there is no man in that equation. And I am not trapped in it. There are a million and one ways out of this body, and I have clung to it, tooth and claw, despite an endless line of people and institutions who would rather I vacate the premises, and have sometimes been willing to make me bleed to convince me they’re right.
This body is mine, and I claim it and its bruises, and it is not a man’s, and I am not trapped here. I have looked leaving my body in the eye and I have said, in the end, hell no. There is too much to do, too much to love, too many who need one more of us to say hell no and help them say the same.
little light, the seam of skin and scales (Taking Steps)
I just love this woman’s writing so much. Her blog was one of my first references when I started really thinking and educating myself about trans issues, and she has definitely influenced my thinking in a lot of ways. Personally, I think that anyone who is seriously invested in fighting transmisogyny and being a real ally to trans women should go read everything little light has ever written.
This. Little Light writes kickass, powerful and true words.
This blog post outs several transwomen with both pseudonyms AND legal names, their photos, where they can be found at the festival, and in some cases their profession and employment. Being on this “hitlist” of transwomen was not consented to by any of them, and it associates them with accusations of volatile behavior that the author has absolutely no proof any of them participated in. The blogger refuses to use female pronouns and asserts that these women, who live in one of the most marginalized segments of our society, are “chest pounding” and trying to assert male privilege in invading a womens’ space – as if people who’ve survived gender dysphoria and live outside of our binary ideas of gender have any male privilege to speak of.
Here’s the original post in question (tw for transphobic and cis-sexist bullshit). This is absolutely ridiculous on so many levels. Regardless of how you feel about transpeople, you should absolutely be concerned that Wordpress is allowing defamatory, person-targeting practices like this to happen, despite a clear violation of their Terms of Service.
You can report GenderTrender to Wordpress for violating terms of service HERE.
Two specific clauses you can cite:
Personal attack blogs: Blogs with the primary purpose of attacking an individual or group of individuals are not welcome on WordPress.com. We have a particularly low tolerance for anonymous bloggers who make personal attacks without standing by their words with their real name.
By making Content available, you represent and warrant that…the Content does not contain threats or incite violence towards individuals or entities, and does not violate the privacy or publicity rights of any third party.
Please fill out the form, mention those clauses, and reblog.
In a bizarre lack of coincidence, one of the women they outted, the one that they link her legal name to her online name? just lost her job today.